Who's Really The Boss In The Military?
The highest rank in the military is not General or Admiral - it's doesn't distinguish between enlisted or commissioned service members. It's actually the military spouse.
Whether a couple was together when their military journey began or one of them "married into it", there should be a level of respect paid to the person doing the support at home. Just like a good commanding officer knows that the folks on the front lines couldn't do their jobs without the support unit, the service member should know that the team at home is the heartbeat of the family and keeps it all going.
The stress and anxiety that comes with not having control over where you will live, where you will work and what will happen with your family is real. Time and again, the military family members, lead by the spouse offer support and learn to adapt and overcome. The smartest will try to look at each new chapter of military life as a new adventure and get everything out of it that they can. Organization is key. This mission is run by the spouse leader. If the service member is around - great - make it a team effort. But sometimes it's going to be necessary to go it alone. And it can feel like they are single parents. That's ok... plenty of single parents do just fine. In fact, they embrace that. They celebrate their independence and strength inside and let it show. This their your mission - failure is not an option.
Once at the new assignment - They immerse the family in a new culture, a new language, and a new lifestyle. They make sure that the home is a safe and nurturing place - with routine and structure, but instead of hiding away at home - they find a way to get the family immersed in the local community. They get off base. They find a civilian group to volunteer with. They get to know the locals and make it fun. The spouse leader will lead by example. They will make effort to make friends and look for the good in the new adventure. It's ok to share if they are having a bad day, and explain why because others in the family might be going through it as well. The key is talking out the fear or frustration, acknowledging it and validating it but focusing on a positive solution or remedy.
Moving can be hard, so it's important to have keepsakes to decorate the new home with that will make it feel like home. The actual house will not be familiar but the chance to display things that are will make everyone feel more comfortable. This is why selecting a wall for family photos and memories is so important. Just leave room to add new ones! Be sure to keep it updated with new adventures and fun times in the new place. It's great to honor the service member with an area to display their accomplishments and military memorabilia, but make sure to leave room for the same for the spouse leader.
The service member will understandably be focused on the new mission and acclimating at work. Their success is the family's success. As they progress through the ranks, so does their family. With the love and support of their family, they will be come a leader of troops and that is commendable. But, the spouse is the leader of the home and that is the highest rank there is.
The Florida-Hawaii team can make the transition easier! Contact us today! info@Florida-Hawaii.com